Playing Games
by Randa05
Summary: When the team decides House spends too much time on his Gameboy, they elect Cameron to steal it. But is this new game even more distracting? Cowritten work from Randa and Wooster. HouseCam, T for later chappies
1. Gameboy Detox Phase One

Authors comments: Wooster (of the team Jeevesandwooster) and I hope that all of you enjoy this fan fiction; we have worked long grueling hours on it J . Remember, feed the authors with reviews so that we can continue to live and write.

Disclaimer: (Wooster) I own House!

(Randa05) No you don't

(Wooster) Ok, fine, I'll share him with you.

(Randa05) Do you wanna get us sued?

(Wooster) I have a good lawyer! Bring 'em on!

**CHAPTER ONE GAMEBOY DETOX PHASE ONE **

Cameron arrived late to the cancer conference, revolving around the harmful effects of smoking, and quickly took a seat in the back so that no one would notice. This conference had been Cuddy's baby for the last two months. When she wasn't yelling at House, she was tending to the conference's needs. Making sure that everything was planned perfectly down to the teensiest detail. The plan was that Dr. Wilson would introduce himself as the head oncologist of the hospital, introduce Dr. House for his speech (that Cuddy made him give for a week off of clinic duty) and then Cuddy would end the conference. The entire day Cameron could tell that Cuddy was nervous. She ran around the hospital barking orders, even to House. Cameron could tell that House didn't appreciate the stress that Cuddy was putting him under, but he hadn't retaliated...yet.

"... please welcome Dr. House." Wilson started to clap with the rest of the audience and walked to his seat on stage by House. Cameron for the first time saw House on stage and noticed that he was playing his new Gameboy. 'Cuddy is going to kill him,' she thought.

House heard his name called and looked up. "My turn?" he asked Wilson when he took a seat. House stood up and limped to the microphone. He briefly cleared his throat and unfolded a piece of paper. "Smoking is bad, so don't do it." House stepped back and folded his paper back, stuck it in his pocket, and went to sit back down.

The crowd sat still for a moment, they had no idea of how to respond. 'Was he really done or was he just pulling their chain?'

"Is that all you are going to say?" Wilson asked through clinched teeth. "I thought you said that your speech was going to kick my butt?"

"Ah, sure is and it did kick your speech's butt. You put people to sleep, I woke them up." House pulled his Gameboy back out and started to play. Cameron could see Cuddy tighten her fists on the stage; she knew that the stunt House just pulled was not appreciated by anyone, especially the Dean of Medicine. Cameron watched Cuddy walk up to the mic and finish the closing speech for House. Once she was done, the audience applauded and filed out of the room. Leaving only Cuddy, Wilson and House behind.

House looked up from his game and knew immediately he was in trouble. 'Better suck up,' he thought. "Great conference guys. I couldn't have said it better myself."

"Yeah, you couldn't; because you didn't say anything at all." Wilson responded.

"What? I went up there. I told them smoking was bad and not to do it. What more did you want out of me?" House started to get defensive. The two men just glared at each other before Wilson walked off.

"This is a new low, even for you Dr. House." Cuddy said before she followed Wilson out the door.

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"It is that damn Gameboy. It, like, sucks him in." Wilson screamed. They all were in his office, except House.

"Yeah, I know what you are talking about," Chase agreed. Cameron had to agree. Three days ago Chase asked Dr. House if he wanted to take on the Robinson case and House freaked out on him because the question made him 'die'. In fact, just yesterday Cameron had decided to straighten up his office and placed the Gameboy in his briefcase while he was at lunch. When he returned he couldn't find it. He tore the entire office apart and when he still couldn't find it he went searching for her. He finally found her in the clinic with a patient, which then he accused her of stealing it. She explained where she had placed it and he had walked off, without even an apology.

"Either the Gameboy goes or House goes. You make it happen." Cuddy ranted and left.

"Yeah, but how?" Foreman asked and took a seat. He saw a brief smile spread across Cameron's face. "You have an idea?"

"Yeah, I think I do." Her brief smile turned into a mischievous one. "But I have to work alone." Cameron added.

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Cameron walked down the hallway and knocked on the glass door. "Go away," she heard a voice say. She immediately opened the door and proceeded to go in. House had his head down, concentrating on the game. "Do you understand English?"

"More than you." Cameron made her way over to his desk. She stood behind him and looked over his shoulder. If there was one thing she'd learned about House it was that he hates it when people look over his shoulder. She saw him thumb the 'pause' button and set the game system on his desk.

"So if you understand English then why did you come in?"

"To deliver your paper work." Cameron said and placed the pile of work onto his desk.

"Game over," House's Gameboy said from underneath all of the papers Cameron had placed on it.

"Oh, no!" House screamed and pushed the papers on the floor. He picked it up and saw the flashing words 'Game Over.' "I worked so hard today on beating this level and now it was all for naught."

Cameron looked down at the Gameboy, then up at House. "I, I didn't mean to."

"OUT!" House screamed and pointed to the door.

Outside the office Foreman caught up with her. "How is that going to help? You just ruined all of his work for today. He's going to spend even MORE time on it now!"

"Exactly, Foreman, he is going to spend all night working on that stupid game. He probably won't even sleep. Which means that tomorrow will be a very hard day for him when I start 'Gameboy detox; phase one' on him."

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Cameron arrived at House's office late to find that he was already in there, sitting at his desk, play his Gameboy. "Good morning House," Cameron said when she entered with his pile of mail. "Sorry I am late; I had a problem with finding your mail." She saw House give her an inquisitive look, "you don't want to know." Since House was already in his seat, which she normally sat at when sorting his mail, she debated on where she was going to sit. She needed something that was going to get his attention, or more precisely, take his attention off his Gameboy. Cameron walked around the desk until she reached House's side. She slid her body up on the desk and started to sort his mail. Cameron could tell that House was looking at her, or more accurately: at her legs that she had just crossed and 'accidentally' bushed against him. "House, will you hand me the letter opener over there." Cameron pointed to the other side of his desk.

"Sorry, busy." House mumbled and kept his eyes glued to the screen. His attention wavered, however, when Allison Cameron reached over the desk to get it herself, giving him an excellent view down the front of her blouse. Not even attempting to avert his eyes, he cleared his throat and said. "When they put my office here they told me I'd have an excellent view, but I always assumed they meant the trees outside. I must admit that this is a far-cry better." He turned his eyes to her face for an instant, the better to see that cute, embarrassed blush of hers, only to have her straighten, and then lean her face right by his. She whispered provocatively in his ear, "Trust, me Gregory you haven't seen anything...yet." He didn't even notice that she'd plucked his Gameboy from his hands until she'd stood up, wiggled her fingers in a cutesy imitation of a wave, said 'tootles' and skipped off down the hall. Realizing what she'd done, he attempted to curse her, but his throat was too dry.

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Cameron triumphantly walked into the break room and tossed the Gameboy on the table. Both Foreman and Chased looked at the object and then up at Cameron.

"Well aren't you going to shower me with admiration and praise?" Cameron asked jokingly.

Chase was the first to stutter a response. "Th-That's amazing! How'd you do it? He keeps that thing on him constantly!"

She rolled her eyes. "Well, I walked up to him and asked him 'pretty please with sugar on top' and he handed it right over"

"Seriously?" said Chase in shock.

"No stupid." interjected Foreman, "you sure you're a doctor? But seriously, how did you do it?"

"A magician never reveals her secrets," she said with a wink.

"Well then, lets take it to the roof and throw it off." Foreman said as he started to get up from his chair.

"No, I think I am going to hold onto this for save keeping." Cameron said as she placed it in her lab coat pocket and walked out.

"You don't think she slept with him for it, do you?" Foreman asked Chase.

"Now who is being stupid?" Chase responded.

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House sat at his desk and replayed the scene over and over again. He was trying to figure out what just happened. Deep inside, House knew that Cameron had seduced him by using her womanly powers; he just was not ready to admit to it yet. He was NOT supposed to be attracted to her. It was a weakness, and Gregory House was NOT weak. He had to get her, his dignity and his Gameboy back. "Allison Cameron, this means war!" House said to himself.


	2. Vengeance is Sweet

**Authors note: In the first chapter that the authors were Jeevesandwooster and Rando05, but it is just Wooster and Randa05. I meant to put that Wooster is a part of Jeevesandwooster. Sorry for the confusion.**

**Disclaimer: If Wooster and I had the money to buy House, we would. But then he couldn't be on the television anymore because he would be at our house, playing Pictionary with us.**

**And now on with the show…..**

**CHAPTER TWO Vengeance is Sweet**

"But you said I didn't have to do them this week!" whined House, sounding like a petulant child.

"Yes I did and in return I told you to write a speech for the conference, but you didn't keep your word, so I won't keep mine." Cuddy explained.

"Ah, I did so!" House voiced and pulled out a piece of paper. "See, here it is. I was up all night writing, revising, and editing it." He handed the paper over to Cuddy.

"House, this is your grocery list with a one liner for the speech. If you think that I am going to let you out of clinic duty for something like this, then you have to be…"

House zoned out as soon as Cuddy started on her rant and he focused on the brunette woman across the room; Cameron. House may not have actually stayed up all night writing that speech, but he HAD been up all night planning his revenge on Cameron. He limped as fast as he could after her, oblivious to Cuddy yelling at him for walking away when she was talking to him.

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Cameron was walking along the hall, a little nervous. To be honest, after what she did to House yesterday, she was feeling slightly paranoid. She heard the familiar sound of a cane behind her. "Scratch that" she thought "It's not paranoia if someone's really after you." Increasing her pace, she raced down the halls trying to avoid what was sure to be a violent confrontation.

House watched her pace speed up and soon he had lost sight of her. 'Damn, where would she go?' he asked himself. He knew that she was terrified about being alone with him after her stunt yesterday, so maybe she would seek safety in numbers, with Foreman and Chase to protect her from him. House stormed off to the break room, the thumping of his cane alerting the hospital staff of his approach and clearing a path through the terrified nurses. He swept into the break room, taking notice of Chase and Foreman...and the conspicuous absence of a certain brunette.

"Simon says 'touch the top of your head." House yelled as he entered the break room. Foreman and Chase looked up from their files confused. "Do it!" Foreman and Chase slowly raised their hands to their heads. "Great, now Simon says 'tell me where Cameron is.'"

"I don't know." Foreman answered with his hands still on his head. "But while you are here, we have a new patient. She was just emitted to the hospital last night with a 103 degree temperature, elevated BP, and a nasty rash on her left leg." Foreman continued the list but then paused. He watched House check under the table, in most of the cabinets that Cameron could possibly fit in, and behind large objects. Chase however didn't really know what to do, so he proceeded to talk about the patient, but House cut him off.

"You figure it out. You DO have a brain: it's that thing between your ears rotting from neglect," House turned around and headed out the door. If she wasn't with them; maybe she was hiding by Wilson. "Oh, and take your hands off your head." Foreman and Chase started to lower them. "Gotcha, Simon didn't say."

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Wilson took a deep breath. He hated this part of his job. Gripping the lab results tightly in his hand, he sat down across from the hopeful couple. "Mr. and Mrs. Jamison?" he said. "I'm really sorry, but the test results came back positive." He fought to stay calm as the wife started crying into her husband's shoulder. The man just looked at him with acceptance in his eyes and asked quietly, "How long do I have?" "Well," said Wilson.

CRASH

"WILSON! I KNOW YOU'RE HIDING HER!" House burst through the door.

"What? Hiding who? Wait, never mind. House you are going to have to leave, now!" Wilson said while raising his voice.

"Oh, getting all protective I see." House took his cane and flipped Wilson's lab coat up a bit. "Nope, she is not there." He continued to look around and made his way to the Jamison. "Have you seen a woman about this tall," House holds up his hands. They shake their heads and House rolls his eyes. "She has brown hair, big eyes, and a nice ass."

"House! LEAVE. IMMEDIATELY!" Wilson roared.

"Fine, but when I find out where you have been hiding her; our friendship is over." House said and looked over Wilson's shoulder at the lab results. "Ouch, Mr. Jamison, good luck with that," and with that, he left the room.

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House paced his office, racking his brains for Cameron's possible location. Coming to the conclusion he would never find her if he stayed in his office all day, he took to stalking the halls. As he prowled the halls, he thought he might have seen her brown ponytail disappear into the girl's bathroom out of the corner of his eye. Pleased with his discovery, he decided to stake out the room. After all, she had to come out eventually. Five minutes later, he was out of patience. What was she DOING in there? Glancing to either side, he pushed his way into the room...and ran smack dab into Dr. Lisa Cuddy. They stared at each other, completely silent, for two whole minutes. And then...

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?"

"Well, Dr. Wilson and I had a wonderful idea about going around to all the women restrooms and collecting the tampons so that we can build our fort. "

"A tampon fort? Honestly Dr. House." Cuddy rolled her eyes.

"Do you have any that you can spare?" House passed by her and started checking the stalls one by one. Before he could reach the last one, Cuddy lost her temper.

"Dr. Gregory Percival House, I want you down in the clinic immediately." Cuddy yelled and dragged him out of the restroom by his collar.

Cameron peaked out of the last stall at the empty room. A smile formed on her face and laughter left her lips. 'House's middle name is Percival?' Oh, she was definitely going to keep that in mind.

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Walking to her car at the end of the day, Cameron heaved a huge sigh of relief. After a long day of playing Cat and House, the day was finally over; she had successfully avoided him for the entire day. Smiling, she rummaged around in her purse for her keys.

"A pretty little girl like you ought to be more aware in a parking lot. There are all kinds of crazy people out there. You could get mugged."

Cameron's body tensed; she knew that voice. "House," Cameron looked around in the parking lot, 'Great, I'm alone with him.'

"It is good to see you Cameron, for a while there I thought that you might be hiding from me." House inched his way into her personal space. He could feel her body tense up against his. "I dreamt about you last night, do you know that?"

Cameron could feel the heat of his breathe against her neck; she closed her eyes.

"It was a hot dream Allison. You were in my house, on my bed," he pressed her against her car with his body. "We were doing naughty things."

"Dr. House! Wh-What are you doing" she couldn't think. What the hell was going on here?

"Well, I thought that was pretty obvious...Allison." His hands were on her...and her brain had turned into the general consistency of jello on a hot day. They were roaming, at her waist, on her jeans...in her pockets...wait. "Better luck next time..._Allison_," he said as he pulled away, Gameboy in hand. "See you tomorrow!"

Cameron stood there with her mouth twisted in a frown. 'Oh crap!'


	3. Parting in such sweet sorrow

**Disclaimer: Wooster and I owned House for a day, and then we lost him to a bet with drunken monkeys. They are clever little things. **

**Hold on and enjoy the ride….**

**CHAPTER THREE Parting in such Sweet Sorrow**

House pressed down the sequence of buttons over and over again. "Jump damn you," he screamed at the screen. He heard a familiar ring coming from the speaker, 'game over.' His shoulders slumped, ever since this game that Cameron had started with him he hasn't been able to finish the last level. House pressed the restart button and continued to play, hoping to keep his mind on the game instead of Cameron.

"Dr. House?" Cameron peaked her head through the door. She made her way into his office and stood in front of his desk.

His thumb hit 'pause' and he gently started to caress the machine while speaking to it. "I am so sorry that that mean, nasty woman took you away from me. Go a head and tell me, did she treat you kindly? What? She touched you where?"

"Dr. House will you stop that!" Cameron demanded his attention.

"My, my. Jealous? Do you want me to caress you as well?"

Glaring at him, she set the coffee she had made him on his desk, along with a stack of files, and stomped off. She couldn't let him see that the answer to the question was a loud and resounding 'YES!'

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Cameron made her way into the break room and flopped down on the chair.

"Hail to the mighty Cameron." Chase said and mocked a bow to her.

"Give it up Chase, he has it back."

"What? You gave it back to him?" Foreman asked.

"No I didn't give it back to him. He stole it back from me yesterday." Cameron closed her eyes.

"But how?" Chase started to ask, but Cameron's hand flew up in the air.

"Hello Mario (Foreman), Luigi (Chase) and Peach (Cameron)." House said as we limped in with his gameboy in his pocket, sticking out for all to see. "I am going to be super busy today trying to beat the last level, so don't bug me unless it is huge." House added sugar to his coffee and started to leave. "Oh and Cameron, thanks for giving me back my game."

All three watched him walk out of the room and down the hall.

Cameron wanted to get that gameboy back, she needed too. "Excuse me boys, I have a gameboy to steal again."

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House smiled to himself, his nerves singing in anticipation. He knew Cameron was following him and he couldn't wait to see what she was going to do this time. He had decided today that he was allowed to be attracted to her as long as it was _just_ a physical attraction. After all, he'd have to be insane not to. But she'd need privacy in order to seduce him and he was going to give her just that. Grinning madly, he made his way to the roof. No one would be up there at this time of day.

Wilson heard the soft tapping of a cane and instantly knew that his friend was on the roof. 'Must be clinic hours again,' Wilson thought and started to make his way towards the thumping.

"House, get back here!" Wilson heard Cameron yell, the shout echoing in the stair well as she chased House up the stairs. Wilson retreated behind a wall, it sounded like a fight was brewing, and he had inadvertently attained front row seats. No way would he pass this up. Cameron strutted swiftly up to House as Wilson looked on, thrilled.

"Dr. Cameron, what are you doing up here? Can't get enough of me, eh? So, what are you going to do to me today? I warn you: I am on guard now. You are NOT getting this back." He waved the Gameboy in her face before returning it to his pocket.

Cameron thought quickly, she was going to have to change her tactic. "Actually, I came up to apologize. I shouldn't have done that, and you doing it to ME made me realize how wrong it was." She fought to keep a smug smile from her face when she saw the extreme disappointment in his. "But you have to realize, Dr. House, that it wasn't all to get a hold of your Gameboy." She stepped closer to him, her heart pounding, both from nerves and from the exhilaration of watching him swallow desperately. Carefully she rose herself to her tiptoes and gently placed a kiss on his lips.

House had been prepared for a seduction. He'd geared himself up to be manipulated by an atypically sensual Allison Cameron, but this…intimacy, threw him off. His mind went completely blank as she kissed him. His eyes fluttered closed as he cradled his hand behind her head and deepened the kiss.

Cameron's mind had turned to mush. If House hadn't pulled her so close in that the Gameboy dug in his pocket dug into her hip, she would have forgotten her mission. Carefully pulling it out of his pocket as she pulled away slowly, she glanced one last time at his glazed eyes and ran. '_What the hell was that?_' she wondered.

Wilson was thinking along the exact same lines. His shock quickly gave way to amusement; however, as he watched his friend lean a little more heavily on his cane as he stared after the beautiful brunette. _'That's my cue', _he thought as he heard House sigh deeply. "So, when's the wedding?" he asked, grinning broadly as House jumped way higher than a disabled man ought to have been able to.

House took one look at him. _'Oh crap'. _"You see? Women are just evil. Look what she did! Stole my Gameboy again! I don't know why you like them so much."

"Oh, so that sighing like a lovesick schoolgirl was for your GAMEBOY. Oh that makes a LOT more sense." Wilson grinned slyly at his best friend. "She seems to have stolen more than that. I think I saw her pocket your heart on the way down the stairs." He winked at the infuriated House and skipped off down the stairs.


	4. Lets get Physical

**Disclaimer: After sobering up the monkeys, we figured that they would give us what rightfully belonged to us…but they didn't. They taunted us with the fact that they had taken House away from us. **

**CHAPTER FOUR Lets get physical**

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Cameron sat in her chair, behind her desk, playing House's Gameboy. Now she knew why he was always playing this thing, it was fun! She had gotten to the last level of the game and was so close to winning before she died. "Game Over," the machine played.

"Ugh!" Cameron threw it down on her desk. "Stupid game." She sat and stared at it, it was calling to her, mocking her for losing. She had to try again. Cameron picked it up and started to play again, not knowing that she was being watched.

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House barged into the clinic, knowing that Wilson was there flirting with the cute nurses.

"Hey Romeo," House yelled across the room. Wilson looked up and politely excused himself to join House.

"Greg, to what do we owe this pleasure?"

"So I just caught Cameron in her office, playing with _my_ Gameboy. I need to get it back from her and you my friend are going to help me." House walked over to the medical files and started rummaging through the 'C'.

"I am up for it as long as it is not illegal." Wilson tilted his head slightly, "Okay, I would probably be up for it if it was illegal. You're a bad influence."

"Don't I know it. I need to you page Dr. Cameron into exam room four. She won't come if she hears my voice." House pulled out a file and opened it up. 'Yep, just as I suspected,' he said to himself. His focus turned back to Wilson. "Now I know that it sounds difficult but it really isn't. You see, all you have to do is walk your pretty little self over to that intercom and press the big red button and say, 'Dr. Cameron, please report to the Clinic, exam room four.' Can you do it?"

"I don't know, it sounds hard. Maybe if you hold my hand while I am doing it…" Wilson mocked.

House smacked him upside the head with the file he was holding. "Do it and do it now." House walked into Exam Room 4 and closed the door behind him.

"Fine," Wilson said under his breath as he walked to the intercom, "but you are explaining to me exactly what's been going on later."

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"Oh, I am so close," Cameron yelled as she punched the buttons on the Gameboy. "Nothing can stop me, I am on FIRE!"

"Dr. Cameron, please report to the Clinic, exam room 4. Repeat: Dr. Cameron, please report to the Clinic, exam room 4." A voice echoed over the intercom and she looked up.

The Gameboy vibrated in her hands, which meant one thing: she'd died again.

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Cameron made her way into the clinic in record time and found Wilson flirting with the nurses.

"He is a married man ladies," Cameron said as she passed by to room four. Wilson turned his head just in time to see Cameron disappear into the room. 'She needs to stop working so close to House,' he thought, 'she is turning into him.'

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She opened the door and squeezed her way into the room. Cameron saw that the blinds were closed and the room was empty.

CLICK

Cameron spun to see House shut and lock the door behind her. "Dr. House, what is going on?"

"Upon checking your medical records, I found that you have not had your annual check up. You should know better Cameron, being a doctor and all." House stood by the door, guarding it so that she couldn't leave.

"Fine, I will make an appointment tomorrow with my regular GP." She walked towards him, flipping her hand sideways as if asking him to move.

"Or we can just do it now." House planted his hands on her shoulders and turned her around to face the table. "All right, Dr. Cameron. Take off your clothes," he said, trying not to smirk as she blanched.

"Wh-What?"

"You can change behind that screen," he said, indicating the wall behind him and holding out a hospital gown. She glared at him, grabbed the gown, and went behind the screen. House amused himself watching the silhouette of her changing. When she came out, he looked down at his clipboard, pretending he hadn't been watching. Walking forward he pulled back the screen, amused to see the clothes neatly folded on the exam table. He carried them over to the counter, carefully transferring the Gameboy from her pants to his. "Well," he thought, "that takes care of business, now for some fun."

"Sit down" he said, indicating the table. She sat, slightly confused, as he pulled out his stethoscope.

"What about Chase and Foreman, are you going to perform their physicals as well?" Cameron asked.

"Oh, they gave each other physicals," House cocked an eyebrow at her. House leaned in close to Cameron's ear and whispered, "I need you to take a deep breath Allison."

Cameron sucked in a gulp of air and slowly let it out. "My, my little lady, your pulse has just sky rocketed. Are you under any extreme amount of stress?" He pulled the stethoscope out of his ears and away from her robe. House scribbled something down on her chart and turned his attention back towards her. He spread Cameron's legs open a bit so that he could step in between them, "Look at me." House pulled out his pen flashlight and shined it in her eyes. "Dilated eyes," he murmured and placed the pen back into his jacket.

House was so close to Cameron that she refused to breathe, knowing that it would come out more as a pant than breath. She could feel his hands on her throat, applying gentle pressure with his rough fingertips. 'Checking the Lymph nodes,' she thought he said, but her thoughts dissolved when she felt his lips flutter against her neck. Cameron fought back a moan but took a deep breath of air in. She felt his lips move across her skin as he whispered, "Shortness of breath." The attack on her neck continued until he reached her lips.

His lips hovered over hers and only made contact when he asked, "Are you experiencing any dizziness?" But before she had time to answer, House locked his lips onto hers.

He quickly pulled away and ran a finger gently over the back of her thigh...watched as she shivered. "Your reflexes seem to be a little...tight. Well, this confirms my diagnosis. You're a sick girl, Allison. I'm afraid that you have a severe case of "House-hots" syndrome..."

Cameron stared at him, for a moment she couldn't find words to respond to his diagnosis, but then they came out. "And what is the cure, doctor?"

House looked up from her chart and smiled. "Me," he retorted and went back assaulting her lips.

Cameron didn't know how long they were in the exam room, she really didn't even care. All she cared about was the fact that House's lips were on hers and his hands were roaming her body freely. She moaned in despair when she felt him pull away from her. The knock on the exam room door brought her back to reality.

"Dr. Cameron," she could hear Chase yell through the door. "Dr. Cameron," he screamed louder when she didn't answer.

"WHAT?" Cameron yelled back, agitated by Chase and his impeccable timing. She grabbed her clothes and went behind the screen to dress.

"Irritable; that is something to add to your chart." House joked. Internally, he cursed Chase with every curse in the book…and then made up a few. Cameron walked out from behind the screen and made her way to the door. "Wait," House said and pulled her to his side. He ripped a piece of paper off of his prescription pad and tucked it into the front pockets of her pants.

"Come find me when you need a refill," House whispered in her ear.

Cameron barged out of the exam room just as Chase was about to break in. "What was going on in there?" Chase poked his head into the room to see House filling out her chart.

Cameron reached into her pocket where the Gameboy should have been and pulled out the paper that House stuck in there. "House lovin' twice a day," it read. A smile crossed her lips. "He was getting is Gameboy back." Cameron said as she walked out of the Clinic with a highly confused Chase at her heels.

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"So you two have been using a Gameboy as an excuse to…what exactly are you two doing?" Wilson asked, staring at his friend in amusement.

"Oh cool it, nothing to fuel whatever sick fantasy you're having…yet."

"You mean you were in that exam room for well on twenty minutes and didn't…?"

"Well, Chase interrupted." House paused, grimacing at the memory. "You were in the clinic today, what was the nastiest case you came across?"

"Uh-uh. No way. I'm NOT telling you."

"What? You have a problem with me taking my revenge on a person who unintentionally interrupted something he had no way of knowing was occurring?"

"Actually, I just refuse to give you information without some in return."

House rolled his eyes. "Fine, what is it?"

"You like her don't you? I mean _like-_like her."

"Fine, Mr. High School, I _like_-like her."

"Ha! Knew it. Exam room five, man who lost control of his bladder functions."

"Score. I'll get Chase right on it…Oh, and Wilson…that's just between you and me, right?" He waved his cane at him threateningly.

"Of course."


	5. B&E: Like stealing candy from a baby

Disclaimer : We do not own house...but when we rule the world, David Shore will be treated as a king and will write us new episodes every day. And EVERYONE shall watch it. EVERYONE. The now sober monkeys have spoken!

Authors Note: Wooster and I would like to thank everyone who sends in reviews. It makes our day. We print them out, pile them on the floor, and frolic in them.

**Chapter Five B&E: like stealing candy from a baby?**

Cameron peaked into the break and sighed when she saw only Chase and Foreman occupying the room. She sprinted into the room and took a seat by Foreman.

"Anything new?" She asked, knowing full and well that Chase would start babbling about his latest fling. Just as she had predicted, Chase started in. Cameron gave him a few seconds and then turned to Foreman who wasn't paying attention to Chase or his problems.

"Psst…Foreman." Cameron whispered so that Chase wouldn't hear and stop talking. "I need you to teach me how to pick a lock."

Foreman's eyes widen, "Why do you want to know?"

Cameron looked over at Chase, who was still complaining about his girlfriend; something about the fact that he never listened to her. "Well,…I plan to steal the gameboy back."

"Oh! You are going to break into House's house? Sweet!" Chase said.

"Yeah…yeah. Lets call it that." Cameron stated.

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"Come on House, tell me what is bothering you." Wilson whined as he sat in the chair across from House.

"I am not going to indulge you by telling you what is going on." House quipped and started to play with his gameboy.

"Not if I give you this?" Wilson pulled a lollipop out of his lab pocket. "It is cotton candy, your favorite."

House watched Wilson wave it around in the air. 'Damn it, he pulled out the big guns,' House thought. "Fine," House yelled and snatched the sucker out of Wilson's hand. He quickly unwrapped the sugary goodness and popped it in his mouth. "I think I might have gone too far with Cameron the other day."

"Explain." Wilson pulled out another Dumdum, his favorite peach, and pulled off the wrapper.

House looked at him with suspicion. "Where are you getting all these lollipops?"

Wilson yanked his sucker from his mouth with an audible 'pop' and said, "Nicked 'em from the children's ward."

House shook his head in mock disgust. "Wilson, stealing candy from children. No one would guess you had such a cruel side."

"I will admit, I live dangerously. Now are you going to tell me what you did to sweet Cameron?"

"Sweet? That woman is far from sweet, it is all an act." House crunched down on his lollipop and threw away the stick. "I brought her into the exam room to give her a physical and ummm," House started to blush. "Things got a little heated and the next thing I knew my tongue was down her throat checking for abnormal lumps."

"Gregory House, that is a sexual harassment suit in the making." Wilson screamed and began to choke on his sucker. He popped it out of his mouth. "But wow, what I wouldn't have given to be you at the moment." Wilson began to daydream. A sharp whack across his knee from House's cane brought him back to reality. "So violent."

"That is not what Cameron said." House gloated but it quickly faded. "But she hasn't retaliated yet. I may have over stepped this little game that we are playing."

"Or maybe she is busy filling out the case against you." Wilson stated.

"Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised to see that envelope in the morning." House hung his head down and stretched out his hand towards Wilson. "Hit me." Wilson reached in his pocket and slammed another lollipop in his palm.

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House drove home with a heavy heart despite the fact that he was speeding and his top was down. Cameron hadn't retaliated at all today. "Way to screw it up again, Greg" he scolded himself.

Slowly, he limped up his walk with the idea of drowning his sorrows with scotch and Rachmaninoff. He took out his keys to unlock the door, but then noticed that it was...open. Holding his cane up, ready to beat any intruders to a bloody pulp, he pushed the door open and limped inside, shutting it behind him just in time to be knocked against it as an unseen force pressed against him. "Welcome home, Dr. House" Cameron breathed in his ear.

"Wh-What are you doing here?" House stuttered. This was definitely not like him, House was not one who was lost for words.

"I came for my refill." Cameron purred.

Authors Note: mwhahahahahahaha we are the evil rulers of the universe! We hereby banish all idiots and bad drivers to Kansas. Our word is law! If you do not meet these demands, we will not finish this!


	6. Just what the Doctor ordered

**Disclaimer:** **Randa C: alright...so post it?  
beachboygrl: do you have that thing we wrote to our flamer in there?  
Randa C: yeah  
beachboygrl: ok...  
beachboygrl: do you have our chase bashing warning?  
Randa C: nope...i don't have that  
Randa C: i don't have it...what was it again  
beachboygrl: um...  
beachboygrl: warning, to all the lunatics (aka, Chase fans) out there. Intense Chase bashing in this chapter. Do not read. If you do read...I dunno, think happy thoughts or something. Just don't come crying to us  
beachboygrl: ok, so now we need a disclaimer.**

A/N 1: **warning**, to all the lunatics (aka, Chase fans) out there. Intense Chase bashing in this chapter. Do not read. If you do read...I dunno, think happy thoughts or something. Just don't come crying to us.

A/N 2: It is rare that we get the pleasure of conceit in the fanfic world. **Verity Kindle** was kind enough to bestow us with some suggestions on the last chapter. To her criticisms, we have this to say. We are sincerely sorry if our interpretation of the characters did not meet your expectations. We can only justify this by pleading creative license and by saying that we believe it is ok to "kiss and tell" with your best friend...(at least we'd like to think so, as we do it a lot ourselves) We are pleased you like the lollipop part though. Hopefully this chapter will suit you better.

**Chapter 6 Just what the doctor order.**

I came for my refill." Cameron purred. She braced a hand against his chest and wound the other one around his neck and up into his hair as she leaned in for a hungry kiss. House was trying hard to think, to come up with a sarcastic comment to hide his slight panic. 'Oh god oh god, this is going to far...' he thought as he choked out, "You better be careful, Ms. Cameron, you might OD. Don't want to become addicted."

"Too late for that," she smirked, and started pulling off his button up shirt. She started pulling off his button-up shirt, stopping when she felt the weight of the Gameboy in the front pocket. She glanced up to see if he had noticed the hesitation and saw, to her immense satisfaction, that he had a glazed look on his face...he wasn't noticing much. She grabbed the lapel of his shirt and started pulling him, slowly so he could keep up. Alternating kisses with whispers, she had him direct her to his room.

He pulled her back closer to him before she could reach his bedroom. "I'm sorry, miss, but this is a secure area. Federal law requires I do a full body search for concealed weapons and/or illicit substances before you enter." House smirked. House bunched up the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head. "Clear." He stated and continued his investigation. As he started to move his hands to the clasp of her bra, she let out a little squeak. He leveled his gaze to her and said, "Now, I'm sorry, miss, but I can't afford to be shy. You'd be surprised where people hide things."

Soon Cameron stood in his hallway completely naked. "Well, I believe that you are indeed not a danger to this country or myself. You may now enter my bedroom."

"It must be pretty freakin' amazing in there...the security's tighter than the pentagon."

Later, exhausted and giddy, Cameron adjusted herself next to House so as to avoid his leg. "Man, no wonder the security's so tight...there's no way they are working on anything more earth shattering than this."

"You ain't seen nothing yet," House whispered into her ear. House relaxed against Cameron's body and listened to her breathing slow down. He let his fingertips lightly fall on top of her arm as a reassurance that she was really there, that it wasn't one of his dreams. "Damn it," he whispered. "I think I might be falling for you. I am so screwed." He lowered himself into the bed and reached a comfortable spot. House soon joined Cameron in the golden slumber.

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Light seeped through the window blinds and spread upon Cameron's face. She lifted her upper half onto her elbows and worked her eyes open to be greeted by House's bedroom and his arm wrapped around her. A smile formed on her lips as she replayed last nights events. Her gaze settled on House's sleeping body and then down to the floor where their clothes were scattered. 'Bingo,' Cameron thought and gently eased her way out of his tight grasp. Cameron tip toed over to the pile of clothes and gathered her, plus one of his. She made her way out of the room and down the hallway into the kitchen. A few moments of searching, Cameron found coffee and filters. She started the pot and scribbled a note to leave for him:

_Greg,_

_My place, tonight at 7:00 pm. Bring wine._

_Love, Allison_

_P.S. I made the coffee strong, just like you like it._

Cameron made her way out of the apartment and headed home. She had to find some pants that would match with his dark blue button down shirt.

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Chase and Foreman were both hanging around the break room, bored to tears. House, as usual, was late...but oddly enough, the usual bright-and-early Cameron was as well. Usually, she would have finished checking House's mail and came into the break room to make coffee by this time. Chase was using the rare downtime to fill out some paperwork for the medical files. Looking up at Foreman when he cursed violently, Chase rolled his eyes. Foreman had bought himself a Gameboy after seeing how much House loved his, and was losing miserably at...of all games...Tetris.

"What the hell is so great about this thing?" yelled Foreman suddenly, slamming it down on the table, "The controls are so freakin' complicated; I have no idea what I'm doing with my fingers half the time." He took another sip of coffee to calm his nerves while Chase chuckled at him, but spit it out again immediately when House ran into the room. Chase screamed as the scalding liquid hit him straight in the chest, staining his lab coat.

Chase's screams were deafened by House's shouts however. He was carrying on about something... "Quick, hide all your valuables! She's coming!" He was bustling around, stuffing things like stethoscopes into cabinets and stuffing Chase's favorite pen into his own pocket to 'keep it safe'. He spotted the Gameboy on the table, picked it up, glanced at the screen and 'pshed at Foreman's pathetic score, and threw it back at him.

"Who?" asked Foreman, irritatedly shoving the Gameboy into his bag.

"Cameron, of course, she's a mad thief!" House muttered. "I've just been by my office; she's in there sorting the mail. We have just enough time to hide everything before she gets here."\

Chase rolled his eyes as House continued. He was amused at the antics, so Cameron had managed to steal the Gameboy back after all, but he wanted to finish the medical forms. He glanced up briefly when House shouted, "Oh crap, here she comes!", and he saw Cameron walk in. He wrote one more sentence before he realized: she was wearing the shirt House had worn to work yesterday...but that would mean…

"That is a nice color on you Cameron." Foreman said, trying to get cover up House's rant before she walked in.

"Yeah, wonderful shirt. I bet you stole it from some poor soul who wasn't paying attention to where his favorite shirt was." House mocked.

Chase rolled his eyes and walked up to House and grabbed his pen so that he could finish his forms. "Probably took it after you guys hopped on the good foot and did the bad thing last night. See, Foreman...if I was a girl, I wouldn't have had to go to Vogler...that's a MUCH simpler way to ensure job security!"

Cameron's head snapped and her glare fell upon Chase. "How dare you!" Cameron whispered and smacked Chase across the face. She spun on her heels and left the room in a fight of rage.

Rubbing his head, Chase muttered a sullen apology and they all sat down. House leaned over his shoulder to look at the medical report.

"Maybe I did make a mistake in hiring you."

"I SAID I was sorry!" Chase yelled.

"Actually, I was referring to your spelling...you sure you passed med school?"

Chase looked down...the last couple sentences (where Cameron had walked in, disrupting his concentration) were a mess. "For your information," he said, mustering up all the dignity he could, "the number 'four' is spelled with a 'Q' in Australia."

A/N : I would like to say that Wooster (who is one of the best co-writing buddies in town) wrote most of this wonderful chapter. So in your reviews, comment on her and her amazing skill.


	7. Author Note

Author note: I am sorry to say that Wooster has declared that Pod People have taken over her computer and made it blow up (well, not really blow up with flames and such, but stop working). I feel that since it is both of our story that I cannot continue to write it without her. So for now, we are taking a break (just a small one, at most a week) until she finds the Pod People who took over her computer and makes them pay. We are so sorry for the inconvenience. But think positive, this will give us a week to think of a **BRILLIANT** chapter for all of you lovely readers.


	8. Lust or Love?

Good afternoon everyone. I am here to say that Wooster has yet to get her PC problem fixed. So this chapter is me and me only. I will admit that once you get used to bouncing ideas off of someone, it is hard to write by yourself. Please forgive me if it truly sucks. And sorry for the long wait.

Disclaimer: Don't you think that if Wooster and I owned House that Fox would be airing new episodes right now instead of the reruns!

**Chapter 8 Love or Lust?**

Wilson peeked out of the break room and ushered in Cuddy, "Come on woman, we don't have all day."

"Woman?" Cuddy questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Would you rather I call you a 'man'?"

Cuddy rolled her eyes and pulled out the note, "What is so important that I need to drop everything that I was doing to come down here?"

"Good question Dr. Cuddy. Let us go to the white board." Wilson made his way over to the board and picked up the marker. He had always wanted to be in charge of a differential diagnosis session, but House would never let him. "43 year old male. Sudden change in character; almost nice now to a certain someone. BP increases when certain someone is around. He starts to faintly sweat; mostly in the palms and around the forehead. Pupils dilate and a one track mind…"

"Lust," Cuddy interrupted.

"Chase?" Wilson asked for his input.

"I don't wanna." Chase lowered his head and looked at the table.

"Since when did you back down from diagnosing?" Foreman asked.

"Since House made me stand in the corner. I some how know that what I say will get back to him and he will rip me a new one."

"Oh, come on Chase. Do you see House here?" Wilson looked around the break room. Chase shook his head 'no'. "So then tell me what you think."

"I agree with Cuddy then," Chase whispered.

"Alright, two for lust; is there any for love?" Wilson asked.

Before Foreman could reply, House barged in the room. "Please no autographs until I have my first cup of coffee." House stated and walked over to the coffee pot. He poured himself a cup while whistling "At Last" by Etta James. Foreman, Chase, and Cuddy stared at him while Wilson added whistling to the list on the board. House started to open and close the cabinet doors, not finding what he wanted. He turned around and huffed, "I bet you she has them. I bet you she stuffed all of the sugar packets in her lab coat and is off hiding so I can't find her. Ah," House screamed. "She drives me crazy!" He took off towards the door and glanced quickly at the white board. Seeing the symptoms; _male, change in character, increased BP, sweaty, dilated pupils, one track mind, and whistling, _House knew what was wrong with the patient. "Oh, god. The patient is in love." House exited the room. "Poor sap," he yelled from the outside of the door.

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House opened the lab doors and stepped in. He quietly walked over and positioned himself behind Cameron. "Where is it? I know you took them all." House asked as he started to pat down her lab coat. He reached inside and pulled out her keys, "that is not what I am looking for." His hand dug back inside the coat and pulled out his gameboy, "wasn't looking for that, but now that I have it, I will take it back." He placed it in his pockets and went searching again. When he pulled his hands out, they were empty. "What? I thought that you might have taken them."

"Taken what?" Cameron asked and she turned around to face him.

"The sugar. There wasn't any in the break room and I thought that…never mind. I just need something to wake me up."

"Maybe this might help you wake up." Cameron leaned in and brushed her lips across his. House took the bait and leaned in for more. "Did that help?"

A smile crept across House's face. "It helped something else wake up."

Cameron chuckled and pushed House away. "Oh my, what am I going to do with you?"

"I could think of lots of things that I want you to do with me." He smirked. "But first, I must find sugar!" House turned on his heels and left the lab. He walked back to his office to find Wilson playing with his tennis ball. Taking a seat, House reached into his pocket to fish for his gameboy. It was empty. "Oh no she didn't"

"Oh no she didn't, what?" Wilson caught the ball and looked up at him.

House reached to check his other pocket, still he found nothing. "I just got it back from her and now she has it again."

"The sugar?"

"No, my gameboy." House dropped to his chair.

"Oh, because I was going to say that Chase took the last of the sugar before you came in this morning." Wilson tossed the tennis ball to House; however, House didn't move to catch it. It bounced right off his shoulder.

"Why that little demon!" House scrunched his eyes and focused them on the figure in the break room.

"House?" Wilson sounded concerned. "What are you doing?"

"Planning my revenge of course." House walked into the break room and hovered over Chase. He could tell that Chase was starting to get nervous. Finally, House gave in and spoke first. "Tell me Dr. Chase, did you think I wouldn't find out?"

Chase wiggled in his chair a little and continued to stare at his crossword puzzle. "I am sorry, but Wilson made me say what I thought and I agreed with Cuddy." Complete silence circled the room, which made Chase antsier. "I am sorry that I thought what you have with Cameron is lust."

"You know Chase, I was just going to come in here and ream you about using all the sugar. But since you opened your big mouth and confessed, I think that this subject would be better to yell at you about."

"House," Wilson barged in the break room. "Cameron just called, she needs to see you down in the lab."

"Oh you are so lucky Chase." House started to leave. "I'll be back." He mocked Arnold Swarzenager.


	9. Hide and still Seeking

Author's Note: Good news everyone. Wooster emailed me the other day and said that she will be getting a new computer soon and will be able to join us. Yay! As of now, a wonderful person, Drakien, helped me out with this chapter. Everybody give her a "Yee haw." Also, thank you for all the wonderful reviews. It means so much to Wooster and I to have our email box full of nice and honest reviews. YOU GUYS ROCK!

Disclaimer: I don't own House, but I will own the DVD set soon….does that count?

**Chapter 9 Hide and still seeking. **

"Did she tell you what she wanted?" House asked Wilson as they headed down to the lab.

"Nope, she just said that she needed to see you."

"Oh, she needed to see me, huh?" House turned towards Wilson and smirked.

"House!" A piercing voice rang through the hallway.

"Oh no, it's Cuddy. Hide me!" House quickly looked around for any open doors, but found none.

"House," Cuddy sang. "Come out, come out wherever you are." She stopped abruptly in front of an artificial tree that was decorating the corridor. Seeing House attempting to hide behind it and Wilson standing beside him, Cuddy rolled her eyes. "Should I even ask what you two are doing?"

"We're mediating," House answered glibly. "You know, 'being one with nature' and all that." To prove his point, he took a deep breath in through his nose and let it out of his mouth. "Ommm." Wilson quickly joined in.

Cuddy stood there in silence, watching her two best doctors hide behind the plant and repeat their mantra.

"Is she still there?" Wilson asked with closed eyes.

House cracked an eyelid open to see Cuddy still standing there, with her hands on her hips. "Yeah, continue breathing and louder this time." Both men took a deep breath and 'Omm'ed' as loud as they possibly could. House's beeper interrupted them. He reached down and pulled it off of his belt. "It's Cameron," he said, faking an apologetic look. "Got to go." House squeezed his way out from behind the tree, grabbed Cuddy's arms, and pushed her to where he had been standing by Wilson a few seconds earlier. "Remember, breathe in through your nose and exhale out through your mouth."

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Upon entering the lab, House cleared his throat to let his presence be known to all the other doctors in the room. With in seconds, everyone was gone, except for Cameron. House looked down at his imaginary watch, "A personal record for clearing out the lab."

"If I had a gold star with me, I'd give you one." Cameron joked and handed House a folder.

"What is this?" House looked down at his hand.

"What does it look like?"

"A folder, but…" House started to say.

"Another gold star for Dr. House! He's on a roll."

"Ouch! You're mean. Is it because I left you wanting more earlier?" House asked as he closed the gap between him and Cameron.

"No," Cameron held up a hand to stop him. "I know what you are doing House."

"Huh? What? I don't know what you are talking about." House lowered his head to Cameron's neck.

Before he could start his ministrations she interjected, "I gave your Gameboy to Foreman for the afternoon. So don't think you can walk in here, kiss me, and get it back."

House quickly pulled back. "You what?"

"Foreman had a rough day. I thought that it might cheer him up." Cameron confessed.

"What is wrong with you? He is probably on the streets with it now, tearing it apart and selling the pieces."

"He wouldn't do that." Cameron stated.

"No," House thought for a while. "But he would hand it over to Cuddy." House tossed the folder back to Cameron and turned to leave.

"What about the patient?" Cameron yelled as he retreated.

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"Where is it Foreman?" House asked when he entered the break room. "Cameron told me that you had it and I want it back."

"I had it for a while, but then Chase took it from me."

House turned and bore down on Chase. "Just hand it over, no questions asked."

"I, um, can't."

"Why?" House growled.

"Because," Chase said, lowering his voice, "Cuddy came in and took it."

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House entered Cuddy's office just in time to see her quickly lock her desk. "House, what a pleasant surprise," she said and pocketed the key into her lab coat.

"I want my Gameboy back. I'll even make it very easy for you. I'm going to extend my hand, and close my eyes. If it's back in my hand when I reach thirty, no one will get hurt."

"House, I don't…"

"One," House cut off Cuddy and began his count down. "Two, three,……." When House finally reached thirty, he opened his eyes to see that his hand was empty and so was the office. 'I guess I will have to explore and find it myself,' House thought and walked over to Cuddy's desk. He tried to open the door, but it wouldn't budge. 'I need someone who can break locks, someone like…Foreman.' House looked up at the clock on the wall, 5:30pm; surely he had left by now.

House decided breaking in to Cuddy's desk was not a wise decision to do in the daylight. He would be back later tonight, with reinforcements.

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Cameron was in her living room waiting for her favorite show, Law and Order: SVU, to come on when she heard a knock at the door. Softly walking over to the door, Cameron opened it to reveal House. For reasons unknown, he was dressed in black jeans and a black turtleneck. "It's August," she stated. "Why are you wearing a turtleneck?"

"No questions." House brushed past her and limped in to her bedroom. She followed to find him going through her closet. He pulled out a dark pair of jeans and a black sweater. "Put this on and meet us downstairs." House ordered and left.

Cameron was dressed and at his car within minutes of House leaving her apartment. In the back of his 'Vette sat Foreman and Chase, all dressed in black as well.

"Now that we're all here, this is the plan." House pulled out a map of the hospital and a red circle was drawn around Cuddy's office. "Foreman, you'll follow me to Cuddy's office and break her desk lock to retrieve my Gameboy. Cameron, you watch out for anyone entering this section of the hospital and warn us if anyone does."

"What do I get to do?" Chase asked.

"You get to be thrown to the dogs, in case they release them on us." House answered and folded up the map. "Everyone knows their job?" All three nodded. "Good, then let 'Operation Retrieve and Destroy commence."

Author's Note: I am going to switch it up a little bit…you know, get a little crazy. I want you guys (if you want to participate) to tell me what House and his Scooby Doo gang finds in Cuddy's office. It could be his game boy, her journal, or whatever (as long as I would feel comfortable about writing on what they find…hint nothing too creepy). I understand that most just want to read fics and not give suggestions, and that is fine, I understand. If you could just leave us a review, that would be wonderful. But for those who have an interesting idea, add it to your review and we will see what can happen.


	10. The monkeys are in daycare

Authors Note: Wooster is back!

Disclaimer: Okay, I will be the first to admit (maybe not the first actually) but if I owned House…he wouldn't be on the show. He would be with me, every second of the day.

**Chapter 10 The monkeys are in daycare. **

House and his gang walked down the almost empty halls of PPTH on their secret mission. Individuals would turn their heads as the four doctors, decked out in black, passed them by in the hall ways. House drew the most attention as he was constantly ducking behind plants and columns and cursing the sound his cane made in low tones. Cameron fought not to giggle while Foreman whistled the theme from James Bond.

House stopped at the corner by the elevators and motioned for Chase to stay put. "No one comes down this hallway, got it. If they do, the consequences..." He grinned really big. Chase gulped and nodded to show his understanding?" Chase gave House a nod and watched as they walked towards Cuddy's office.

Upon reaching Cuddy's office, House pulled out a set of keys and unlocked the door.

"If you had a set of keys to unlock her office, why do you need me here?" Foreman questioned House.

"I need you to break into her desk. Duh?" House rolled his eyes at Foreman and turned to Cameron. "You are the key to this operation." He took a step forward, closer to Cameron, and dropped his voice. "Chase will probably catch his reflection in the elevator doors and become distracted. If that happens, you must make sure that no one, absolutely no one finds us in Cuddy's office. Do you accept this mission?"

"Please," Cameron smirked. "I could do this mission handcuffed."

House leaned forward on his cane and tilted his head so that his lips were barely touching her ear. "You just gave me a great visual Allison. I will have to remember that for our next mission that only you and I can participate in." He pulled away and noticed a shiver that went through Cameron's body.

House turned his attention back to Foreman, who he caught rubbing his eyes. "Is this breaking and entering bringing back fond memories for you?"

"You almost literally pulled me out of my bed at one in the morning. I'm just tired." Foreman responded and started to work on the lock.

Cameron looked down the hallway to the left…no one. She glanced back inside Cuddy's office to find House pacing and Foreman working diligently. Returning to her assignment, she turned to her right and caught Chase's reflection in the elevator doors. A small laugh escaped her lips; House was right, Chase found his reflection and had become infatuated with it.

Cameron's ears perked when she heard soft footsteps approaching. She closed her eyes, hoping that she could focus her other senses and see what direction they were coming from, but no such luck. Cameron glanced at Chase, who was still fixing his hair. The footsteps became louder, and she could finally pinpoint their source; her left, and they were about to turn the corner. Quickly Cameron rushed in to Cuddy's office to warn the others, but ended up bumping in to House and falling on top of him on the couch. Before House had time to respond, Cameron threw her hand over his mouth and held still. She softly whispered, "The monkeys are in daycare," so that both could hear her and know someone was coming. Within seconds, the footsteps became audible as they all remained hidden.

The footsteps continued past Cuddy's office and down the hall until they were gone, leaving House, Cameron, and Foreman to come out of their hiding spaces.

"Got it," Foreman whispered and pulled open the drawer.

Hearing Foreman's whisper, Cameron slid her body off of House's and gently helped him up from his position. "Sorry," she whispered.

"Don't be, I think you just fulfilled one of my sexual fantasies. Well, at least the beginning of one anyways." He watched as Cameron blushed, and decided that they better get out of the hospital before the flirting turned in to something else.

House walked over to Foreman and peeked in the drawer. There was a single letter.

_Dear House,_

_If you ever want to see your Game Boy again you must follow one rule. Just for one day, I would like you to be nice to everyone you meet. If I see that you actually crack a smile at someone, other than smiling because you made them cry, I will relinquish the Game Boy back in to your hands. _

_Cuddy_

_P.S. I do believe that breaking and entering into someone's office is illegal. And you are a horrible person for waking up your gang and making them come with you._

"That's creepy, that she knows that you would bring us here." Cameron stated after reading the letter.

"Well, that is because she is Satan," House looked down at the empty drawer, now that the letter was in his hands. He set it down on the desk and pulled out a red marker. After scribbling some words on the back of the letter and stormed off.

Cameron and Foreman glanced at the letter House left and smiled.

_Dear Lucifer,_

_You suck!_

Passing the elevators, House caught sight of Chase and rolled his eyes. Grabbing on to a lock of the Aussie's hair, he yanked hard, pulling out a few strands. Running them between his fingers as Chase yelped, he looked pityingly at him. "Sorry Chase, but no amount of primping is going to change the fact that your hair is greasy. On another note, you, once again, were saved a long torture session from me. Cuddy has decreed I won't get my gameboy back unless I'm nice to EVERYONE tomorrow, so just hope that whatever star you're wishing on doesn't go super nova on you...cause I'll be waiting.


	11. Lions, Tigers, and Bumble Bee Cancer?

**A/N: Howdy, y'all, this is Wooster speaking. (Gosh it's nice to say that...sighs deeply and contentedly) Ok, down to the nitty-gritty. I want to give you all a full explanation as to the events regarding my long absence. As has been explained: the pod people destroyed my computer. I feel obliged to tell my friends how and why. See, it all started when they elected that new Supreme Court justice, Roberts. They announced it the night they showed the House episode where they go on the non-date, an episode I'd missed the first time 'round and was anxious to see. Unfortunately I wasn't home that night and had set my TV to record from 8 to 9 as usual. But because of the announcement, I MISSED THE ACTUAL NON-DATE PART! I was so upset, and the guy looked so...happy. It was weird. The next day I saw an article on him in the paper. He looked so perfectly all-American. And as far as I could tell, everyone liked him, both democrats and republicans. His wife wore a perfect Jackie-O pantsuit, the daughter wore patent leather Mary Jane's and the son looked like he was on puppet strings as he acted up like a TYPICAL AMERICAN BOY WOULD! On top of this, they are all J. Roberts. It's true! John, Jane, Julianna, and John Jr.! Can you believe it? So I came to the obvious conclusion that they were pod people bent on destroying my Tuesday. When I discussed this with my friend Jeeves, I neglected to take precautionary measures and wear tinfoil as a hat to ward off bugs, since I was on a cell phone...and the next day my computer broke down. Coincidence? I think not! Warn your friends, warn your family, and beware Supreme Court Justices! This has been a public service announcement from your fanfic-friend: Wooster. Sorry it was so long.**

**Disclaimer: We do not own House..but at least the pod people don't either.**

**Chapter 11Lions, and tigers, and bumble bee cancer?**

It was only 10:30 in the morning and House felt as if he was going to explode from being nice to people. To him, it seemed like all the stupid and incompetent people had congregated in to the hospital and he was stuck with every one of them. Turning a corner, he ran into Dr. Wilson, who was wearing the most ridiculous tie he'd ever seen. It was lime green, and had a bouncing frog motif. Near the bottom were the words: 'Don't worry, be hop-py'. Probably a gift from one of his numerous nieces and nephews. Ready to take advantage of such an opportune target, House opened his mouth to make a disparaging comment, but an image of a small handheld computer game flashed before his eyes. "Uh, nice tie Jimmy," he said gruffly, carefully keeping every ounce of sarcasm from his voice. Turning, he step-thumped away as fast as he could so as to avoid Wilson's incredulous stare. Wilson stared after him, in complete shock, and then ran as fast as he could to the diagnostics room. There, he found Dr. Cuddy, surrounded by the three ducklings. "You do know that hell will freeze over before that man is ever nice to anyone, right?" Foreman was saying to the Dean of Medicine. "What's going on?" asked Wilson. Rolling her eyes, Cuddy handed him a slip of paper. As he read, Wilson chuckled, you had to hand it to Dr. Cuddy. Flipping it over, he saw House's reply to the note. "Well, Satan, I guess it must be really cold back home." He handed the note back. "You guys might want to go check out the clinic."

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"Dr. House, exam room three." The nurse handed him the patients file.

"Thank you nurse Betty for keeping me on top of my job." House meant it in a sarcastic tone, but then noticed Cuddy's presence across the desk. She was staring at him. He forced a smile from his lips, hoping that Cuddy didn't hear what he said. And if she did, the smile would make her reconsider his tone. He walked off in a hurry, not noticing the ducklings crowded behind a pillar, staring on in amazement. Both Foreman and Chase seemed to have gone into a state of utter shock. Cameron was giggling uncontrollably.

Opening up the exam room door, House found a toddler and her over concerned mother.

"Hello, I am Dr. House. It says here that Elizabeth has a severe cough, fever, and has lost weight."

House noticed that Elizabeth's mother had being wringing her hands together since he walked in to the room. "Yeah, she has been like this for about two days."

House nodded and walked over to the toddler. He gently started to exam the brown haired, green-blue eyed girl. A smile emerged on his face; if Cameron and him start a family in the future together, this is what their daughter might look like. '_Stop it Greg,'_ he told himself and he quickly let his smile turn into a frown.

"Oh god. Something is wrong with her. It is TB isn't it. Oh no, she is dying. TB is going to kill her." Mrs. Fredrick started to cry.

"It is not TB Mrs. Fredrick." House bellowed. He looked over at the mother; she seemed to be calming down, and then her eyes light up.

"She got stung by a bee last week. Could that have done something to her? Could it passed something to her? Oh god, she could have bumble bee cancer!"

House dropped his head to his chest. '_Yep, this is going to be a long day.'_

"Mrs. Fredrick, your child has a cold. Not TB. Not bumble bee cancer. Just a cold. Take her home, let her rest, give her plenty of fluids and be gone from here." House opened the door and shooed his patient out. "Mrs. Freidmont," he looked up and caught the eye of a twenty five year old woman. "You're up." House held the door open as she walked in. "So it says here you've recently started experiencing an unusual assortment of symptoms…"

"Yes. Dry mouth, sweaty palms, shortness of breath, uncontrollable shaking, nausea, and heart palpitations." She paused, then blurted out, "I'm pregnant, aren't I?" Her head dropped into her hands, and she began sobbing. "Oh God! I can't be pregnant now! My husband just opened his own business, and I'm still in school! We can't afford a baby! What am I going to do?"

House stood there and rolled his eyes as her histrionics continued. After a few minutes, she had regained some semblance of control.

"Mrs. Freidmont," House tried very hard to explain patiently, "based solely on your description of symptoms, it does not sound like pregnancy. We'll run a test just to make sure, but is sounds like you're suffering from stress-induced anxiety attacks."

"What?" she asked, bewildered.

"You said it yourself. Your husband just opened his own business, you're in school." House looked down at her chart. "And according to this, you're working a full-time and a part-time job. Gee, I can't imagine why you'd have any stress in your life."

"But all that's been going on for awhile," she protested. "Why now?"

"Let me give you a little lesson on how your brain handles stress," he said. "You have some stress in your life. Your brain takes it, looks it over, and puts it away to deal with later. This goes on for awhile, and you're fine outwardly, but the stress is just building up, day after day. One day, your brain decides to pull out all that stress and take a look at it. When it does, it says to itself, 'You know, there's an awful lot of stress here… RUUUUN!'"

Mrs. Freidmont jumped nearly a foot off the table. House calmly continued.

"Anxiety attack. And fortunately for you, thanks to the pharmaceutical industry we have these wonderful little yellow pills." He scribbled something on a prescription pad. "Take one whenever you're feeling stressed out. And for God's sake, take a vacation or something."

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House and Wilson walked out of the clinic together just in time to see Cuddy stop at the corner for them.

"Dr. Cuddy, to what do we owe this pleasant surprise? You are just in time to agree with me about Wilson's tie."

"It is five o'clock and you are off for the day. You don't have to be nice any more Dr. House." Cuddy reached into her pocket and pulled out House's gameboy. "You earned it." She stretched her arm out towards House right as a visitor took the corner and bumped in to her.

House's mouth dropped as he watched his precious gameboy fall to the ground and shatter. Silence filled the air and Wilson decided it should be him that would talk first.

"Now House, don't be upset…"

"What? Upset," House's voice raised. "This mega-beast squashed my gameboy. The evil one reign supreme." He pointed at Cuddy.

Cuddy raised her hand over her mouth. "House, I am so sorry."

"Don't," House raised his hand to silence her. "I never want to talk to you again and I will NEVER do clinic hours ever."

Cuddy watched Wilson bend down and pick up the pieces of House's beloved game and all she could do was shake her head 'yes,' in agreement with his demand. She quietly backed away and headed towards the elevator.

When Wilson straightened back up, he handed the pieces to House.

"Lets take a moment." House and Wilson bowed their heads in the middle of a crowed hospital

A/N2: Again, thanks for all the reviews. We enjoy reading them so much; seriously, we enjoy it way to much actually. I think we might need some therapy.


	12. Best Buy is the new Tiffany's

AN: Ok, I had better get this out of the way: I AM VERY SORRY!!! Please know that this was in no way Randa's fault. She, in all of her brilliance, insisted on several occasions that we finish this story. I disappeared on her for more than a year and filled my time with advanced classes, House, school dances, House, Heroes, House, Dexter, House, lots of books, House, and cursing Fox for their ridiculous brand of scheduling that involved subjecting us to TOO MUCH Tritter and making us wait weeks for new episodes. To those of you who have been so patient with me: I'd appreciate it if you lowered the pitchforks and extinguished the torches and thought happy thoughts. Hugh Laurie in a tux winning best dramatic actor for instance. Yum.

Chapter 12: Best Buy is the new Tiffany's

Following a respectful burial of the shattered remnants of his much beloved Gameboy in the potted plant next to the piano (Cameron patted his back bracingly as Wilson said a few words. Cuddy just sent her condolences as she was persona non grata at the moment.) there was a brief mourning period of about three days before House outlined his demands. Cuddy was to pay for a new DS system not only for himself, but for Cameron as well, plus games. If she complied, he MIGHT consider considering clinic duty next year.

Having forced him to be nice for a day with no reward she could hardly refuse. With much trepidation, she purchased a Best Buy gift card and gave it to Cameron, with her reiterated apologies. Cameron simply raised her eyebrows at her and tried to hold in the laughter.

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That weekend found House and Cameron strolling through the automatic glass doors into a huge building that smelled of window cleaner and dust. The shopping excursion quickly degenerated into a re-discovery of their childhood. In the back of the store, they played with the various speaker mock-ups, "testing" the systems by scanning for 'The Who' songs on the radio and then turning them up to full volume. House tried to con Cameron into liberating a computer chair from its anti-theft confines and give him a push down the aisle. Cameron quickly amassed a large selection of essential CDs and movies to replace the box that had vanished in the move to House's townhouse. Juggling carefully as she added "The Princess Bride" to her stack so she wouldn't drop the Styx CD, she suddenly realized she'd lost track of House.

She dumped the stack into a nearby abandoned cart and started, on a hunch, for the video game aisle. She spotted a cane propped up against a wall of PS2 games, just in sight. Quickly, she wheeled the cart toward it, pausing briefly to nab two DS's from a nearby display: a silver one for him and a blue one for herself.

Turning into the aisle, she found House with a look of deep concentration on his face and what looked like a toy electric guitar in his hands. The strains of Nirvana's "Heart Shaped Box" blasted from the TV screen in front of him as his fingers pressed a variety of buttons, his right hand expertly handling the strum key and the whammy bar. When the song ended, she clapped and cheered. House turned to her with a grin.

"DDR for the crippled," he said with a cocky grin, "and with good music. No hyperactive Japanese sugar-pop. I absolutely love this game…wanna play me at "Trogdor"?"

She responded with a smirk of her own, "Nah, I think I'll be a groupie. I have a thing for rock stars." She leaned in for a deep kiss, ignoring the guitar controller poking into her gut. Pulling away with a big grin, she gestured toward the cart. "I got the DS's, as well as some of my missing CDs and DVDs…ready to go?"

House gazed longingly at the Guitar Heroes II game, but carefully replaced the controller back on its shelf and took up his cane again. "Alright, let's go."

"Oh, calm down. I'll make Wilson get it for you for Christmas."

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Cameron was trouncing him at MarioKart DS. He didn't think he could bear the shame of it.

The TV was flashing pictures quietly in the background, while House and Cameron stretched out on the sofa battling it out with their new Gameboys. He had insisted they test them out directly after dinner. Cameron, amused, had challenged him to a race. And another. And another. He was having trouble concentrating on the game and she was leaving him in the dust every time. The urge to kiss that smug little grin off her face was not helping his concentration any either.

After Cameron defeated him, yet again, on Rainbow Road, she backed out of the main race section to gloat over the scores, only to find she had a "message." She glanced up at House, whose blue eyes were fixed on his own screen, not seeming to be aware of his surroundings. Rolling her eyes, she opened the box, expecting to see a taunt or insult.

"Will you marry me?"

She stared at the message on her screen in shock for a few moments, and then glanced back up at House, who was now looking directly at her, face carefully blanked. Carefully schooling her features into a similar expression, she tapped the screen a few times on her stylus and then turned it off and closed it.

House looked down at his own screen and touched the message there. It said only one word.

"Duh."

Smirking himself, he turned off his own DS and extracted a ring from his pocket. Leaning over, he slid it onto her finger. She smiled broadly at him and he found himself unsurprised when his face stretched to mirror hers. Carefully, she pulled him in for a deep kiss. Still smiling, she then got up from the couch and walked cheekily off. House sat back against the cushions and let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. Then he noticed something…

"Damn it, Allison! You've got your own DS! Quit stealing mine!"

THE END!

Thanks to all.


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